the last few years i felt that my body let me down.
i was sick all the time, had three operations and countless infections and the pain at times was unbearable.
my body was in a state of war,my scars the proof for all the battles won ( and lost ).
i don´t trust it anymore. i don`t feel it anymore, it doesn`t belong to me anymore.
it belongs to the pain, the scars, the hopelessness, the fear,the anger.
it does not belong to me.
these are the things one cannot write.
these are the things one cannot think or say out loud.